The Gradual Opening of My Heart

I have been exploring heart-opening themes in my life through various means for a long time.  In Anusara Yoga, we emphasized Opening the Heart through the practice of chest-expanding poses like back bends woven with “heart themes” like compassion, loving-kindness, generosity and gratitude.   After classes, I would feel expanded, up-lifted, happy, more connected to others.  But it wouldn’t last.  The same is true with meditation and dance experiences or intimate moments with lovers or friends.  I’d feel my heart open and not long after, I’d be back to “normal,” feeling separate and less connected.

For certain, I could say my heart has slowly been opening over the years from these accumulated experiences as well as from the inner work I’ve done of releasing layers of confusion, anger, stuck energy and fear.   I’ve become more kind, compassionate, grateful, present and generous.  Yay!  But I haven’t felt very centered in my heart overall.  I’ve been head-centered more than heart-centered.  In mentally-dominated states like planning, figuring it out, and worry, I loose connection to my heart; the differences I see between myself and others seem magnified and I feel less present in my relationships.   I’m happier and more peaceful when I’m heart-centered, so I continue practices and activities that support my heart in opening.

Recently, something shifted for me  in our last and final SkyDancing Tantra Coach and Teacher Training module.  I set the intention to be open and available to others and centered in my heart for the training.  And this happened naturally for me throughout the week.  I felt a growing sense of connection and closeness with my classmates and teachers.  I felt open, present and soft, and I let myself become vulnerable and “contactable.”  I experienced a new joyful appreciation and gratitude for everyone present, their unique personalities and contributions, as well as for myself, the journey we’d been on and the invaluable practices we’d been given.   This was all super yummy and expansive and I attribute it not only to my intention, but to the support and safety of the group container in addition to the power and intimacy of the practices.  It reminded me of what happens for me after a long meditation retreat, except this was happening through relationships so it felt extra juicy.  The cool thing is that weeks later, these heart-centered qualities are continuing to blossom in me as I maintain my intention to meet myself and others from an open-hearted space.

Now I see more clearly when I get stuck in over-thinking or worrying, which pulls me into my head and out of my heart.  When I do, I pause, take a deep breath, and bring my attention into my heart center.  From there, I visualize breathing in and out right through my heart and I feel greater presence and relaxation.  Slowing down really helps too.  By giving myself extra space to Be with myself and reducing the rushing and over-planning, I’m more able to feel at ease and connected to myself and others.  I feel quieter internally; fewer words, more space.  And for me, this being present and connected to myself is part of what I mean by being “in my heart.”

When I’m with others, my heart-centeredness translates into greater presence with myself and with them simultaneously.  I’m listening closely, making solid eye contact and taking time to reflect and respond mindfully.  I’m doing this with friends and family as well as in coaching sessions with clients where I’m choosing to rest back and give greater space instead of driving the session.  I’m increasingly receptive and less goal-oriented, which is an important aspect of coaching I’ve been wanting to shift.  With friends, I feel better able to listen, less attached and more available to whatever “want’s to happen” in the moment.  And with Patrick, we are meeting each other with deeper intimacy:  I feel increased presence with me and awareness of him; I’m dropping into Being and connection; I’m tuning into his Essence behind the words and senses.

As I rest into my heart, I rest into myself.  I’m generating ease and trust in myself and the in the Universal support.
I know I’m in a process and there may be ups and downs, but I’m committed to continuing to return to the wisdom of my heart; on the cushion, in my daily interactions, and in my relationship to Life.

How do you open your heart?

What happens for you when your heart feels open?

I’d love to hear your stories so please leave a comment below 🙂

May we all remember the beauty and presence that lives in each one of our hearts
and may we greet each other from this open-hearted space.

Namasté from my heart to yours,
Robyn